things left unsaid

I am a person who holds it in and never shows how hurt I am.
I don't like to bring others down with my pain or sorrow.
It doesn't seem fair to me.
If you see a tear, a smile follows.
I don't want sympathy or pity.
I just want someone to listen to me, and care about what I say.
However, it seems like when I try to confide, it goes horribly wrong.
You get upset and take the blame, when I never gave it to you anyway.
I do get sad and quiet some days, but my love for you remains.
I wish you didn't take things to heart, having no one to talk to can get really hard.
I know you say I can talk with you, but you don't realize the things you do.
I won't burden you with my selfish complaints, I never even tell you if I'm the slightest bit faint.
Your happiness is what is important to me.
I wish I wasn't feeling so sad everyday.
You make me happy it is true, because no one can love me like you do.
I need more than this unfortunately dear, to make my life complete, not mere.
I need time for me, time to go out.
I haven't in so long, I think I've forgotten how.
My chest feels like an empty shell, that my heart is trying so hard to fill.
But, no matter how hard she tries, the bucket always comes up dry.
I love you so much and our babies too, but there is something more I need, I hate to admit it's true.
I need some friends, I need to relax and find some peace.
Away from the kitchen and the laundry up to my knees.
But, most of all,
I wish beyond any wish,
that I could tell you all of this.....